Kailash is pulsating with the expectation of breaking
news. The interstellar globetrotter Narad has returned from his starry trips
and is expected to fill in Ma with the latest from India.
Everybody knows how much Ma hankers for a first-hand
account, even though infinity is on her palm top, and she can know everything
with a swipe. Gan.s was going to think derogatorily that it was a bad case of
virtual reality addiction when he received a cautionary mental message from Dad,
‘Bad thinking d Big Boss is more painful than a Harley Street plastic surgery
gone wrong-u will miss breakfast for a week!’.
Gan.s immediately crossed his thoughts, and quickly
dumped the complain forming in his mind. Sars had convinced Ma that keeping
animals in captivity was passé, consequently Kurt’s peacock was acting dead in
a Bollywood movie, and Lakes’ owl was flying skittishly in Bengaluru, causing a
tycoon to go bankrupt overnight.
Gan.s loved his mouse, and missed it. But he loved his
banana cookies and milk in the mornings even more, so he deleted everything and
all was quiet on the east-west front of his mind.
‘Howdy, Nurd! How are the kids?’
Narad’s on- the-road experiences came to his aid, and his
face remained as inscrutable as Dhoni’s after a T-20 win, before beaming an
ear-to-ear smile like Asrani.
Narad, the cosmic roadie would have managed without Dad’s
mental ping,’ Ma is aping Sar’s speech who has gone American with a vengeance
after being teased mercilessly fr b-ing n ivory tower pundit.’
‘Pranam! Everybody is doing fine!’
‘Do they miss me?’
‘Indians throughout the world are celebrating dad and
you. There is this bestselling trilogy about your feats, and even teenagers are
shrinking away from ‘Twilight’ to know more about you.’
‘And the latest
blockbuster rejoices your name; the heroine is called Jagat Janani’
Ma sniffled.
‘Are my kids joyful?’
‘Ma, they are very happy indeed. They are singing about
the new regent-He is India, India is he’!
Ma’s widening smile faltered.
‘Isn’t that an oldie? Didn’t they sing the same song for
my poor child as well-‘She is India, India is she’? Is history repeating
itself?’
Narad reassured that there is nothing to worry, as there
is no opposition left in the land anymore.
‘How did he manage
that? What are my own ‘Charlie’s Angels’ doing?’
Narad wised up to the game, decided to be a bit cheeky.
‘Nothing. He managed because they are too busy to do
anything!’
‘How come?’
‘Jylan is out on bail trying not to go back to prison; Mamex
seems on her way to one, with most of her aides behind bars for corruption.
Matalie was playing ‘Hatari’ with stone elephants, and slipped out of the hot
seat-otherwise she would have been the first to croon jailhouse rock’.
‘What about the daughter-in-law?’
‘She took ‘Godfather’ seriously, and made her son take
charge of the family business. He was no Michael, and the Family is shattered’.
‘None of them were bad to begin with. None of my children
are bad. Is it a Great Indian conspiracy so that my sons and daughters would
languish?’, Ma’s voice broke.
‘No conspiracy honey, it was the Great Indian Chamcha to
be precise. Our kids kept on listening to the wrong people’, Dad had to step
in. He did not want her to get hysterical over something that can’t be cured.
‘Why did they listen to them?’, Ma smarted.
‘Honey, the Great Indian Chamcha is omnipresent, and
omnipotent in Indian politics. Like our Big B, they are omniscient as
well-there is no escape.’
‘I shall destroy this chamcha business forever. Arm my
divine armada!’.
‘You will have to sacrifice all your children then, for
the Great Indian Chamchas dwell in the minds of movers and shakers. They are
infallible, because like one’s shadow one can’t make them unfollow the self’.
‘Is there no solution then?’
‘Patience. Hope they learn from trial and error and don’t
forget their lessons’.
Ma’s face was half covered in gloom.
‘Of course, you can tell them to watch ‘Godfather’, and
not only read it. In the final act, Connie rules’, Dad chose to be kind.
Ma’s face lit up, and spread sunshine all over her
favorite holiday spot.
A bespectacled man sporting a muffler in Mausam Bhavan,
Delhi observed that India was shining, but kept silent. The weather statement
would reek badly of an erstwhile political slogan, and he was apolitical.
 |
| Kingdom of Diamonds,1980 A hilarious moment follows with the antics of The Great Indian Chamcha Source: Screenshot from the stunning political fable by Satyajit Ray |
